Struggling for patience

A little gem of a talk after a hard day, nay, many hard days (:) ) struggling for patience as I hope in the promise of my Lord. I want to keep that hope strong so I do not despair. Despair leads to depression and then an easy entry for the whispering devil. The believer is strong in belief and therefore never despairs. What a glorious state to be in!

Patience is so hard to achieve isn’t it? It’s so easy to be excited about something and go rushing in and then so hard to keep at it and persevere. Is that why ‘patience and perseverance’ often come in the Quran together. Our merciful glorious Creator who knows human kind well, Subhahanata’ala!

MashaAllah another reason to admire and learn from the recent happenings in Egypt; 18 days is a very long time to maintain a struggle, and that too against such seemingly insurmountable odds! Allah is Great. Victory truly is with the patient. I will try harder. Keep me in your du’a please, in constant need of it. My du’a for you all too. Allah help us be patient

By the way, the scholars classify the root virtue of patience as being courage. Isn’t that very wise. It takes great courage to be patient. In fact all the lives of the prophets (peace and blessings be upon them all) is a testimony to patience. All of them toiled hard against many obstacles and all of them mashaallah ta’alah saw their reward toward the end (and we believe this will also be for Jesus, upon whom be peace and our beloved, who will return to live a good life and see great success)

9 thoughts on “Struggling for patience

  1. assalamu’alaikum dear sister….

    I’m glad to bee here visit your blog and read writings in this blog.
    Keep writing dear! u have talent in it…
    by write it down… at least it will make us to think more and understand more what we write and insha’Allah others will find things that can touch their heart and mind to get better understanding too.

    As what I write here… well! we need to struggle to be patient in this life.
    There are many times in this life when we can’t leave that patience from ourselves.
    Indeed it’s not as easy as what we can say… in fact it need a great deal of effort to be patient moreover in the hard times when Allah give us things we don’t like to see how is our patience.

    May Allah give us strength to be brave to pass this journey in order to reach our goals in this life n hereafter. ameen….


  2. I am struggling these days because I am sad, dark and lonely. I miss someone but he does not miss me. Anyway, I have prayed for many things in the last 6 months. I have tried to have patience, but I wonder: what is the difference between “false hope” and hope that Allah SWT answers our prayers? If Allah SWT does not answer our prayers, doesn’t that mean that we should abandon that hope and move on to something else? Yes, I know that sometimes our prayers are answered in the hereafter. But what i am talking about is prayers for joy and happiness and ease in THIS life. If that does not happen after a period of time, shouldn’t we abandon hope for that and then move on to another type of prayer?


  3. My sister, thank you for sharing this. I understand your pain… I too have faced a similar situation. The only thing that has kept me strong is listening to the Quran (even in my office, its on the ipod/computer…even if I can’t focus on the reading, just the sound of it is so strengthening, after all it is the word of our Maker. His beautiful, kind, wise, timeless words that heal miraculously) and listening to the qaseeda Burdah (I have a CD of the Fez singers rendition, do try to get it if you can)
    But also know this… Allah knows what is best for you better than you do. What also saved me was that I prayed the Isthikarah every step of the way with this man and stuck to the Islamic rulings on interaction. It was not easy, but Alhamdulillah it has helped me from being too attached and consequently too heart broken. Trust this, that Allah knows what is best for you. That is the prayer of isthikharah, have you made it? If not, do so. It is very powerful and in it you leave the outcome totally to Allah so the worry leaves…
    You may think He is not answering your prayers, but it may be that He is answering by not giving you what you want, rather, leading you to what He wants for you. Which WILL be infinitely BETTER than what you want for yourself. We are heading to an eternal joy my sister, and while I know its hard to make that a reality for us, this life goes quickly, it is true. So just grit your teeth and bear it, don’t do anything you will regret in 20 years time.. Allah will make the pain easier with every passing day. And soon you will be able to see. Inshaallah that joy and happiness in this world will come too, but perhaps not in the form you imagine. Allah subhahana ta’ala has better solutions than we can envisage. Stay in dhikr and trust. I will pray for you too.

    I also found this article… with excellent advice for a sister in a very drastic situation. I thought I’d cut and paste a section of the advice to you
    ‘Keep to the five daily prayers. Fast on Mondays and Thursdays, and the three days in the middle of the lunar month. Take care of your body by eating healthy food and getting enough sleep. Keep yourself busy by surrounding yourself with strong Muslim women who can help you learn your rights and responsibilities as a Muslim woman. Also, do a lot of volunteer charity work, because this will keep you busy and help you to develop a deep concern for others, so you can see that you are not in a worse situation that others. Do all this even if you don’t feel it yet. Healing takes time, sometimes moreso for emotional wounds. But just as you can be confident that a broken bone will heal in time, you can be confident that if you start giving Allah His due, then He will reward you with peace’
    The article is here, please pray for this sister. InshaAllah she is healed now


  4. It is like a miracle,,, SubhahanaAllah! I was looking for something to answer your question and mashaAllah, this amazing article called ‘Why do people have to leave each other’ was posted today. I’ve ‘re-blogged’ it… do read it please. Lots and lots of love and hugs my sister. I hope you receive this?
    Allah will show you the way. In a nutshell, keep your hope that Allah will answer your prayer, but leave HOW He will answer it to him, so don’t be too specific in what you are hoping for (e.g. hope/pray to be loved truly, but not that so and so loves you etc).


    1. Thank you so much for your kind comments Joy. Yes, I have been immersing myself in Ibadat for many months now and it hasn’t helped.
      The difficulty I have with the article that you posted is that it suggests that we should not strive for happiness in this world. That is wrong. Allah SWT has created human beings to want emotional attachments…indeed, it is vital for our survival. Even in terms of religious rituals, we do them ‘together’ — pray salat in jamaat, break our fasts with friends and family, etc. Women have been given wombs to nurture our babies. We have been given spouses to protect us and keep us warm. It is a scientific fact that lonely people have more health problems and die earlier than people in relationships. Allah SWT has created two worlds for us: this world, followed by the next. Yes, the hereafter is our ultimate destination, but does that mean this world should be without spouses who love us, without children to hold in our arms, without friends who will comfort us when we are sad? Why should I live the rest of this life alone and without love, just because I am destined to another life in 40 or 50 years from now? These are matters of dunya but that does not make them inherently wrong.
      I don’t know anymore. I just don’t think it is fair for someone to say to another person who is alone and hurting, “that is ok, this world doesnt matter – you will go to a hereafter anyway so who cares if you are alone and hurting for the next 40 years?”. That is really harsh. Allah SWT has given us blessings to enjoy in this world.
      I also don’t know why I can’t pray for something specific, as long as I pray that it is for my best. There aren’t a lot of doors open for me right now.


      1. You are going through a difficult time indeed my sister. I will pray for you. I don’t think the article suggested at all that we should not live this life fully and find in it every joy…rather it aims to address our attitude to how we enjoy this life. That it is not selfish, it’s not about ‘why can’t I have this?’, rather it’s ‘thank you God, for giving me this, and whatever you give me, I’ll try to be happy with it’. And I agree, it’s pretty harsh to say nothing matters in this world for someone who is hurting. Our prophet hurt too… he lost his beloved wife of 25 years, buried 3 of his children… he never stopped missing them and the pain never went away. It is the struggle for patience to bear the pain but still serve the world.
        Here is some practical advise, when it gets too much to bear, go out and volunteer somewhere. Find something to do… there is a great healing in it. Allah doesn’t change the condition of a people until they change themselves. Perhaps this man is not good enough for you, and therefore Allah is not letting him come back to you until he becomes better. Or perhaps there is something you need to alter so that he is brought back. Perhaps it is a time to just let it go, stop wondering, worrying and just be. And no there is no reason for you to live the rest of your life without love. Just be strong so that you give your love to someone who gives it back and don’t waste it on someone who is obviously not returning it. Ask Allah for strength to help you get through this. God is not there to do our bidding but we are there to learn to become like our Maker, and trials in life are given to help us learn. It always helps me to realize, and so I am sharing with you (not to be preachy at all sister, I too am only recently out of this battle, and so I am just sharing…I understand how hard it is) a wise saying ‘God only tests those He loves’. Even His most beloved was tested in the deepest way. That is inspiration for us. I know this is hardly any help when it is so hard every day. But I thought I would say it anyway in case you do find help in it. Be strong, you have the rest of your life ahead of you and much joy that will come inshaAllah and much that will test you, so be strong and steadfast! You will get through this too. Allah Kareem


  5. Thank you Joy. I will remember you in my prayers. It is so nice for you to reach out to me when I am a perfect stranger to you.


  6. Dear joy. I have read your comment again several times today. Thank you again. Letting go and cease wondering what will be means I have to accept my reality and what has happened. It means I will not have a family that I can love and will love me in return. I am so tired of praying for that and maybe I have to stop. I am so tired of relying on myself to fulfill all of my needs … My safety, my expenses, even if I am sad there is no one to comfort me. That is why I have prayed for that man to come back. But it is a very late stage in my life,my forties. So it is time to just let it be. And “letting it be ” saddens me enormously.


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